for your Smoking Pleasure
I’ve been told I should stop smoking, but have never had even the slightest desire to stop smoking. There’s something so delicious about the act of slowly removing a crisp, tight cylinder from its pack, rolling it between My fingers, allowing one of My peons the privilege of lighting Me up, and then inhaling that first, long, beautiful drag.
Last month at a lovely yacht party, the host offered Me an electric cigarette (or ecigarette). I’d tried them before and said, “thanks, but. No, thanks.” He insisted, however, and I’m very glad he did. It was fabulous! So I allowed him to give me several boxes. Now all of My girls and fucktards smoke nothing else.
They’re quite wonderful. I’d always found flavored cigarettes grotesque, but the vanilla, chocolate, and coffee cartridges are as good as if not better than the tobacco flavor. And, truth be told, I do feel much better now that I haven’t smoked tobacco in almost a month. I quit smoking cigarettes without having to quit smoking cigarettes! And must admit it’s also nice not to smell or taste like cigarettes, as well. Had I not found these electric cigarettes, I never would have known I didn’t like smoking as much as I thought I did…
Finding a phenomenal ecigarette was a blessing, most of all, because I’d recently discovered that Natural American Spirit sold out to R.J. Reynolds, and I couldn’t bear to give them another penny. I suggest everyone follow suit, as all cigarette companies deserve to bite the dust. Smoking electric cigarettes is also a much less expensive habit, so the ‘tards have more money to buy Me gifts (and they tell Me the ball-gags taste sweeter).
No second-hand smoke, no tar, no carcinogens, no fire hazard, no lighters required, and ecigarettes may be “smoked” anywhere. Buy now! We are donating all of our commissions to a local animal-rescue shelter.
